Single, Secure & Significant
Everything Relationship is my mini 6-week Bible Study that aims to focus heavily on the Book of Genesis, as a guide for healthy relationships.
Before we get into relationships, we must be secure in who we are. The Word gives us step-by-step instructions when it comes to singleness and self-discovery. God prepared Adam in 5 different ways, before the person. In solitude, God cultivated Adam and helped him pick right, when it came to Eve.
The reason you’re single might simply be the fact that you’re not ready to commit to someone else, because you ain’t even committed to yourself. Until, you’re secure in who God says you are and find your significance in Him, God will continue to delay the person…
The 5 Seasons Of Singleness:
"Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person. Then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there he placed the man he had made. The Lord God made all sorts of trees grow up from the ground—trees that were beautiful and that produced delicious fruit. In the middle of the garden he placed the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil." - Genesis 2:7-9
1. Embrace Your Place
Like Adam, you were placed on this Earth on purpose, with purpose to fulfil purpose. The Lord has placed you exactly where you’re meant to be, so until you embrace the place God has you in, you will never be able to embrace your purpose. You may hate the place you’re in right now, but if it’s uncomfortable it’s for your growth.
Your place will shape your character. It’s the place that will bear good fruit, if you’re rooted in the right soil. For God has positioned us exactly where He wants us and although, we can run away from the place God has called us to, we can only delay the plans God has for us.
We can try and run away from our singleness and escape the season of solitude prematurely, but until we embrace the place, we will never be able to prepare a space for another person to become one with us.
2. Identify Who You Are
Often, we get caught up in what the world says rather than what the Word says. Like Adam, we’re made in the “image of God” and are God’s beloved children. Yet, many of us still have a mis-view of ourselves and try so desperately to fit in. We allow our identity to be shaped by the views of other people. However, if they didn’t create us, then they have no right to define us.
You’ll never have to second guess your identity, for God has already given you one. As a King’s kid, you’re joint heirs to the throne with Christ. When your identity and worth lies with God, you’ll be secure in who you are.
But, if you don’t know who you are, you’ll only begin to lower a standard you never had in the first place. No one can ever make you whole and until you accept the place and identity God has given you, you hinder the process of finding your significance.
3. Allow God To Provide
The Word mentions how God provides Adam with trees that were beautiful and produced good fruit. In the same way, before God provides the person, we need to trust in God to provide everything we need to achieve purpose. Yet, God only fund His plans. You can pray about your plans, but if your direction is not in line with God’s direction then you might need to re-assess.
The more rooted we are in a relationship with God, the more secure we become in our identity, as God will bless the progress and allow provision to flow, directing you to purpose.
"The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”" - Genesis 2:15-18
4. Fulfil Purpose
Unless you are pruned in life, you won’t produce in life. The enemy’s tactic is to kill, steal and destroy your purpose. In this instance, Adam achieved purpose through cultivating the garden. God had already provided Adam with the trees and fruit to carry out the task. In the same way, God has provided you with a place and an identity, to be the light of Christ in the world today.
For St Teresa of Avila states “Christ has no body now on Earth but yours, no hands, no feet but yours.” The season of singleness gives us the opportunity to yield good fruit and exercise the gifts of the Spirit, whilst we embrace the purpose God has called us to. If God has placed something on your heart, it’s just a matter of asking permission to pursue. Focus on cultivating the best version of yourself, before God provides the person…
5. Set Standards
When God warns Adam about eating the fruit from the forbidden tree, God essentially provides Adam with boundaries, as a source of protection. Yet, if we don’t have a standard before the relationship, then we allow the relationship to create the standard for us. For where the purpose of a relationship is unknown, it only invites the enemy to seek to destroy it.
Pray that God will set firm standards in your life, so that God can reveal the right person to you. Don’t get exhausted by the season you’re in and end up settling for less. Instead wait on the Promise God has for you.
It’s only after these 5 seasons that God provides Adam with the perfect partner. Maybe God’s not holding back relationships from you, He’s holding back relationships for you for the right time. Remember: you are secure, significant and accepted no matter your relationship status. Embrace the season of singleness as an opportunity for self-growth and then you’ll attract the right people into your life.