Should Wives Submit To Their Husbands?
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” — Ephesians 5:21-24
If you’ve ever heard this passage of Scripture before, you’ve probably cringed or thought it was archaic. We can often be tempted to think that being submissive to your husband is sexist, but when you truly understand the deeper meaning of what it means to “submit” you’ll realise how Ephesians 5 is one of the most beautiful passages of Scripture.
To “submit”, in other words, is to be “under the mission” of your husband. The mission of a husband is to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. It’s a love that surpasses mere feelings but is enriched by pure sacrifice. You see Christ loved the Church so much that He laid His life down for it. If a husband is called to imitate the love of Christ, then he’s called to lay his life down for his wife in acts of service and sacrifice. Marriage is an everlasting covenant that means choosing to serve one another for the rest of your lives.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. ” — Ephesians 5:25-30
Chivalry is not dead. Why wouldn't you want your husband to serve you like Christ served the Church? Why wouldn't you want to submit to your husband and serve one another out of love?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that women are inferior to men or that women are weaker than men. Rather women were created to be equals to men, to complement one another.
“There is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus.” — Galatians 3:28
In a previous blog, I mentioned how Eve was taken directly from Adam's rib, as a sign that she was a part of him. God did not take Eve from Adam's head to lord it over him or from his feet to be walked over by him but from his side to walk with him, from his heart to be loved by him and from beneath his arm to be guarded by him. God made Eve perfect for Adam so that the two could be one in a marriage covenant with Him.
Although men and women were created equal, they were created different. It means as women, we should give men the space to pursue us, to be intentional and put in the effort to work for us. If he didn't have to work to get you, he won't need to work to keep you.
“We love because he first loved us.” — 1 John 4:19
To my brothers in Christ, you need to start being intentional, taking the initiative and confidently pursuing relationships. You see Christ’s love initiated the relationship that we have with Him. When you choose to make that commitment to marry someone, you choose to live a life full of sacrifice for your spouse.
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” — Proverbs 31:10-11
A Proverbs 31 woman was created to be found. You may feel hidden right now but the truth is you don’t need every man wanting you, you need the right man wanting you. Unfortunately, I know so many girls who keep chasing after the wrong guys, guys who literally have no intention of loving them like Christ loved the Church.
The love of Christ should be the standard of your relationship. Obviously, as humans we’re flawed, so our love will never be as perfect as Christ’s love, but we can still aim to love one another in that sacrificial ‘agape’ type of love. The truth is if we’re honest with ourselves, that’s what we all desire to have in a relationship, but some of us are settling for less than what we deserve. When you truly know how much you’re worth, you’ll quit giving people discounts.
You see, the Bible doesn't say that women should submit to men. The Bible says that a woman should submit to her husband - that's literally one person. Submitting to your husband does not permit them to walk all over you and it certainly does not permit domestic abuse. For you were never meant to submit yourself to someone who doesn't respect you. Don't ever submit yourself to any man who claims to have authority but won't match it with responsibility. It takes humility to submit, but it also takes trust because you choose to trust the leadership of your spouse in guiding you both on your journey towards heaven.
You deserve a crucifixion type of love. A love that bleeds purity and burns with a passion and desire to be with you. A love that heals and covers the wounds and a love that helps carry your burdens. As spouses, you deserve a love that is sacrificial and a love that serves one another…