Last week, we started Everything Relationship – a Bible Study on the Book Of Genesis. If you haven’t read part one, go check out the previous blog before you stick around for part two…
Many of us know what we want, but still settle for second best. Like Esau, we begin to lower our standards, not because God doesn’t have a promise or a blessing for us, but because we traded an eternal blessing for a short-term gratification. Don’t settle!
“Once when Jacob was cooking stew, Esau came in from the field and he was exhausted. And Esau said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stew for I am exhausted!
Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright now.”
Esau said, “I am about to die, of what use is a birthright to me?”
Jacob said, “Swear to me now.” So, he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus, Esau despised his birthright.” – Genesis 25:29-34
Esau traded his birthright for stew! If you haven’t figured out already, that was a bad trade. You see Jacob and Esau were twins, but as the firstborn, Esau was entitled to receive the birthright. For if you had the birthright, you were in a spiritual covenant with God and subject to the family's inheritance and social status. For this was of great worth and an even greater blessing.
But when Esau got fatigued, he let his guard slip and settled for a bad trade. Yet how many of us, when we get tired, when we get desperate or lonely, we lower our standards? When we become thirsty, like Esau, we don’t pick right or worse we settle for anything that comes our way.
Don’t settle for someone, because you think you won’t ever find someone like them. If you lower your standards to find someone, you’ll only end up losing yourself. You deserve to be treated special, so stop trying to make excuses for someone.
The Word says “She is clothed with strength and dignity” – Proverbs 31:25.
To be clothed in dignity, is to be of great worth and value, to be honoured and respected, as a woman of integrity. Don’t settle for someone who fails to see your value and don’t let your value be defined, by how someone thinks you’re worth.
In the previous blog, we mentioned the significance of setting standards, before the relationship can set the standard for you. There’s a list of non-negotiable things, that I desire in a future partner that are ‘must haves.’ My second ‘would prefer’ list is things that I would love but can be compromised for.
Here’s a sneak peak of my ‘must have’ list:
1. He must be, first and foremost, a God-honouring Man.
2. Whoever he is must be able to make me laugh.
3. He must be someone who helps me grow to be a better person.
The most attractive thing is when someone’s heart is on fire for the Lord, for everything else will then fall into place. A man of God will be able to love you like Christ loved the Church and give himself sacrificially to you. A man of God will prove himself by respecting you and keeping you accountable on your walk with Christ. For me, it’s a priority because it means that both of us will have a mutual goal to reach heaven and renew ourselves daily.
In contrast, here’s a sneak peak of my ‘would prefer’ list:
1. I’d prefer if they were into sports, especially football :)
2. I would prefer if they were Catholic.
3. I would prefer someone who has goals and ambitions.
These are just a few examples of my preferences, which I am willing to compromise if the ‘must-haves’ are ticked off. God knows the deepest desires of your heart, so trust that He will provide the perfect person for you.
Make sure to pray and allow God to open your eyes to the things that you really value in a person. Make a list and stick to it. Don’t allow your feelings to compromise what you really desire. If someone doesn’t meet your standard, they probably aren’t the one God has for you. Trust that God will provide – it’s only a matter of time.
In that season of singleness, allow God to cultivate you and prepare you for the right person. Remember you attract what you give out. If you want better, do better and be better. Whatever you do, don’t settle for less than that of your worth…