• Jess

Breakups & Knowing Your Worth

Breakups hurt… they can make you feel like you’re not good enough or not worthy of love. Yet, every breakup is an opportunity to focus on you, love yourself and to become the best version of yourself.

Stop identifying yourself as an option but start identifying yourself as the option. Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it and stop relying on someone else to fulfil you. For when your self-worth is dictated by who you think loves you, you’ve got a mis-view of yourself.

Many of you don’t realise, that as Children of God, you’ve been adopted into royalty. But since your identity is unknown to you, you try to look for it in someone else and the truth is: no one will ever be able to complete you. No one can ever hand you over your worth and if you don’t realise that, you’re only setting yourself up to get hurt.

Many of us stay in unhealthy relationships, because we’re blind-sighted to the red flags. When your judgement is clouded, you begin to accept trash behaviour. You allow them to destroy your sense of purpose and worth, that instead of building you up, they’re now tearing you down.

A lot of girls know a guy is pure trash but think that somehow the guy will change for them. Reality is he’ll treat you the same as he treated them other girls. Why would you want to attract that negative energy into your life? You’re out here giving out authentic love to receive some fake love back. You deserve sooo much better, if only you knew how you were selling yourself cheap.

Don’t allow yourself to make up reasons to justify their behaviour, when that’s exactly them telling you how they feel about you. If they’re texting you back every 24 hours, the reality is: you’re just not a priority for them. If a person really liked you, they would text you back ASAP and you wouldn’t just be an option.

If that person ain’t giving you the time of day, someone else will. Move that person aside, because they’re blocking you from the best which is yet to come. If someone’s told you they don’t want to be with you, then don’t force them. Literally, the door is open – let them leave and don’t ever beg someone to stay because at the end of the day, you don’t need them – you just want them. Authentic love never forces...

In a broken world, many of us feel as though we can’t function without other people. We fear being alone and cling to the security of a relationship, but sometimes it’s letting go which hurts less than gripping onto a relationship, whose expiry date is long past.

Our world uses sex as a desperate attempt to keep a grip on someone. That somehow if we give up our body to someone, they will stay a little longer. It’s a lie and a fraud that is totally counter to the life of Jesus: who healed, who performed miracles, who forgave, who served and lastly, who gave up His body for us. Yet, many of us reverse this order and end up giving our bodies first, rather than following the example of Christ.

“Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us.” – Ephesians 5:2

True love never fails. Though it’s easy to slip into the mindset that this time it might be different, getting back with your ex, only takes you back to the same position you started. What you have to realise is that things happen for a reason. God doesn’t take someone out of your life to hurt you, but to make space for better things to come.

Know that you are whole without someone else. You’re not a fraction. You’re a complete masterpiece all by yourself and you don’t need anyone else to validate your existence, because God already has. Focus on your goals, step into your purpose and live the life God called you to…


I’m not saying that all breakups are as extreme, but my point is that even if you are in a relationship, whether romantic or a friendship, you shouldn’t ever rely on someone to be the source of your self-worth. God has already placed you as heir to the throne – don’t view yourself less.


Created By Jessica Fernandes